Day 5 and Day 6: Hard Goodbyes

Day 5:

Joey, Molly, and Linc walked over to the creche for an early morning hug before A had to go to school. I tell you what...that boys is super cute in his school uniform. I'm so proud that he seems to be doing well in school. When we were with him in April, he made it no secret that he didn't want to go to school so his lack of resistance now is encouraging.

After A went to school, C came over to play at the guest house and of course had some snacks! One of the most humbling aspects of visiting the boys is to see the kids share with each other. There were usually a couple of kids with their parents at the guest house while we were there and it never failed that when one was given a snack or drink they made a great effort to share with the other kids in the room. We parents just gave up trying to help them understand that it was "their" food. There is no concept of "yours" and "mine" among the kids.

After a good morning of play at the guest house C went up for a nap and we waited for A to get out of school. We spent part of the afternoon playing at the creche and part at the guesthouse. Molly, Linc, and A played games with the kids of other families for a while, before we painted some rocks. The days are long and sometimes you have to get creative so I stole this idea from another family visiting their children. Molly and A were very meticulous during their painting, Linc and C were a little less focused, but it was fun to watch.

Day 6:

It was a somber morning of goodbyes. Molly took it hard that she had to leave her brothers behind. We walked A to school and then had a few minutes to play with C before we said our final goodbye. It doesn't get easier. In fact, knowing how much the kids love each other makes it much harder. Nevertheless, it is an inevitable part of the process. We know that one day they will be leaving with us...that day can't get here soon enough.

We have been blessed to make such great friends on this journey and we were blessed to be traveling back to the states with some of them. It was a good trip back with some very tired children. We arrived home around 3am Thanksgiving morning. Thankful to be back in the states and thankful to be with family, but wishing our boys were with us.

Day 3 and Day 4

Day 3

So far, our days have included early mornings and excited kids. On day three this involved Molly and Lincoln waking early and begging to go out on the balcony. I instructed them to be quiet, as there are six other families with us at the guest house. Of course, within a few minutes I hear Molly and Lincoln yelling friendly hellos to someone. I run to tell them to be quiet and realize that they are yelling over the walls to their brothers who have their faces stuck out of the window of the upstairs at the crèche. It quickly became a sweet, rather than a disturbing sound.

After we dressed for church we went over to visit with the boys before our walk up to church. It was a great morning of playing, and then we enjoyed a joyful church service. So,…A and C have been completely still and perfectly behaved in church until we added Molly and Lincoln to the mix. J Imagine that!

We enjoyed an afternoon of play with other families and kids. A and C had their first PB and J…they took it apart and ate each side separately. Molly tried to explain the concept of a sandwich, but she wasn’t very successful.

Joey,  Molly, and Lincoln spend a couple of hours playing with the kids at the crèche while A and C and I TRIED to watch the movie Rudolph…it didn’t really work.

We are looking forward to more good play time tomorrow!

Day 4

We had a great morning of sharing with other adoptive parents and talking through the joys and road blocks of the process. It was great to hear about how other families plan to handle potential challenges. 

It was such a great day of playing!! Because Haiti had elections yesterday, school was cancelled today. So…A got to hang out all day rather than going to school. When we made it over to the crèche he was eating breakfast. Not our typical breakfast.

 The kids had such a great time together. So far there has been minimal jealousy and lots laughing. I can’t imagine it going better. Today, we did some coloring, and any chance that Lincoln and A get to play on Joey’s phone they jump on it. The weather is perfect so our outside play is very enjoyable. They were not deterred at all by the laundry hanging on the playground.

The weather is perfect so our outside play is very enjoyable. They were not deterred at all by the laundry hanging on the playground.

The weather was a little cooler today so it was a great day to break out the matching Spiderman shirts and toboggans. The temperature didn’t really merit toboggans, but the kids enjoyed them.

Tomorrow is our last full day with the boys. We are so thankful for this time together. 

Day 1 and Day 2...

Day 1

So…Traveling internationally with kids is much different than traveling alone! J They were both very good, but whewww it was exhausting.  We didn’t have any major mishaps at the airport. Lincoln had a great first flight and Molly acted like a professional traveler. I was thankful to be a little early for our first flight out of Jax (thanks Pastor Ben!!) because last time we flew to Haiti we were running to our plane as they were announcing our names over the intercom. I’m fairly confident that my nervousness nearly drove Joey crazy!

When we arrived in Haiti, with all of the new sights and sounds, Molly and Lincoln carried on as if they had been there 100 times. They were completely calm as we walked through an airport with people reaching for our bags and asking if they could help. I assure you I did not feel completely calm, but we made it out without incident. When we made it to the van we were united with a great friend and her mom for the trip up the mountain. I’m so thankful for the friends we have made on this journey.

The ride up was bumpy and chaotic and again the kids just looked out of the window and enjoyed the ride. I closed my eyes several times as a gut response to people walking in the middle of traffic. However, before we made the grocery store Lincoln fell asleep…only Lincoln can sleep on that kind of ride.  

When we made it to the guest house and I was able to reconnect to the internet.  I found out that a meeting that we were desperately hoping would result in progress for our case had not happened due to a holiday in Haiti. It was probably some of the most difficult news I have yet to receive, as we have been in a waiting pattern for a VERY long time. I went to sleep through lots of tears…feeling pushed to the very limit of my understanding.  Hopefully next week will bring some news.

Day 2

OHHH…if yesterday was the most difficult day for me in this almost 3 year process then today was the best!! It was so, so wonderful to see all four of our kiddos together.  The first meeting could not have gone better if it had been scripted. A and C were happy to see their brother and sister that is for sure! Molly and A hit it off from the very beginning. He led her around by the hand introducing her to everyone. C found his way to his dad’s arms which is where he was happy. Lincoln enjoyed playing basketball and soccer with the big kids.

We are looking forward to several more days of fun! 

A difficult week

The past week has been difficult to say the least.

If there is one thing that is true about me(Amy) it is that I tend to have a controlling personality. I assure you that God is working diligently to remove this trait from my life, and I must say that I can personally see improvement. However, when my children's personal safety is involved it is hard to suppress the desire to take control and protect them. As a school employee, I see this trait in many parents who rush to remove their children at the sign of any danger on campus...and I get it. I get wanting to be with your child in a time of uncertainty.

This week that was not a possibility for us. We could not rush down to Haiti and pick up A and C and take them to the safety of our home. We could not hold them as the winds blew, we could not assure them of safety as trees fell around them. As parents, we felt helpless...completely out of control.

I have struggled this week on several levels....some of my struggles, I must admit, are born out of the selfishness to have my children in my arms. Selfish or not...all of my struggles come from not being in control...and I have to daily abandon myself for His purpose.

This morning at church...the Sunday after such a week of emotional stress, the title of the pastor's sermon was "Raising Up Godly Children: Entrust Them."
Entrust Them...
- Entrust them to God's Call
- Entrust them to God's Protection
- Entrust them to God's Provision

Our children are safe and we are SO thankful, but they are not safe because WE held them close. They are not safe because I could assure them that all would be well. They are safe because God kept them safe. And I must entrust their precious little lives to Him, but not just until they are home with us. I must entrust their entire future to Him...to the creator and sustainer of life. Because the truth is that even after they are home and I feel like I have more control over what happens in their lives...I don't. We often think of the things we will be able to provide for them when they arrive: LOVE, hugs, kisses, family, school, medical care, etc., but none of this replaces what God provides for them in our complete absence. This understanding does not mean that I do not feel a sense of urgency to bring them into our home, but it does remind me that God our Father is with us despite our circumstance.

We must lead by example and guide them in the ways of Christ, but we are not in control.
It is the desire of our hearts that our four children grow up and serve God with their whole lives...with every breath they breathe. And we will Entrust Them to Him.


Abandoned in His Call,

Amy

Continuing to trust...

I have been trying to work on an update since Joey went to visit our boys in July. Life threw some crazy curve balls this summer and my thoughts have been pretty scattered. Some recent changes are exciting...I am now the instructional coach at our school, but not having a classroom on the 1st day of school yesterday was a real adjustment! Learning an entirely new set of responsibilities is also a little stressful. Lincoln started Kindergarten and acted like a pro on his first day. Molly, who held my hand UNTIL we got to the 2nd grade hallway, is excited that she and Linc are at the same school.

 As usual, I was really, really hoping to provide an actual update on my next post. However, my update is not as encouraging as I would like for it to be. As I have written before, we still have several steps to  complete before the boys get to come home and the next step is to exit IBESR (Haitian Social Services). From what we understand, this process alone requires several steps, one of which is the signature of a specific lady who has not been in the office for a while. We were really hoping that this week she would return to her office and sign our paperwork so that we can move forward. We were told that when our representative checked on our file today, he as told to check again at the end of August. This is very disheartening news as it makes a December homecoming seem so unlikely. I'm not giving up hope for a completed adoption in 2016, I must also remind myself that God's timing is not ours.

The week Joey spent with A and C in July was great. The trip was pretty last minute. I just could not stand the thought of our boys not having contact with us from April to November (our next planned visit). It wasn't too hard to convince him to go :-) I knew that it was best for me to stay with Molly and Linc, but it certainly was hard to not be with them in Haiti. It sounds like they had a wonderful time playing together and the boys were sad for him to leave. He thinks they understand the process as much as children can understand. He met some wonderful people and was blessed by the ministry of C4C.

We were encouraged this summer as 3 Chances for Children families (who have been in this process for 3+ years) were able to bring their children home. However, we are seeing other families have ridiculous delays, much like the one we are experiencing in IBESR.

With all of those scattered thoughts being written I will say that it is my prayer that my heart is content. Content that God has a plan and purpose for delays...Content that God knows what our boys need more than we do..Content that the God of the universe is in control of our homecoming date.

I am reminded in Philippians 4:6-7
            -Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Sometimes this Mama struggles because I want our family together so badly. Please pray that I continue to be reminded that I have SO much to be thankful for and that God will grant us peace in our hearts to continue to trust His timing.

Abandoned to Him,
Amy


These are some pics from Joey's trip. I wish I could show their precious faces and beautiful smiles, but we haven't made it that far yet!

When waiting is painful...

So, we are still waiting to exit IBESR and move on to court in Haiti. Waiting looks much different on this side of the 15 day socialization visit. Waiting is much harder; waiting is often painful. The tears are different because they are shed for little faces you have kissed, little hands you have held, and little hearts who want you to be with them.

I have committed my heart to soaking up whatever I am supposed to be learning during these next few months/year of waiting. I read a lot and I find myself checking other parents blogs regularly hoping that someone has received an update and is moving closer to bringing their child home. I often find it discouraging to know that such long periods of time lapse between any news for all of us. I give excuses for why it is such a long process, but I know it doesn't make sense. I haven't found anyone it makes sense to, so my rationality says that surely it will change in the future to become more efficient for the children waiting to be with their families BUT until then...I am learning some lessons.

Last night, when I was talking to God I felt this huge desire to convince Him that our boys NEED us, but then I was reminded to trust...To trust that our Creator has them...their Creator has them and we are but vessels to be used to fulfill His plan in the lives of His sons.

Psalm 139:13 says: For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. Verses 15-16 go on to say: My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. 

What a reminder that God is taking care of our boys. HE knows their future. No...I don't understand, but that's why I trust. Yes...some days prove more difficult than others, but I choose to trust in God's plan. My flesh creeps up and I feel a need to control things, but I am comforted to know that the God of the Universe has a plan for our boys. This trust doesn't take away my extreme desire to be with them immediately or my desire to hold them when they are sad or mitigate their brotherly quarrels, but it does give me a peace to know they are in good hands until I can (and will continue to be in His hands once they are home).

So while the waiting is hard I will rest on these words from Hebrews 12:2, Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...

Day 15- Last day in Haiti and our return home

As I reflect on our last day in Haiti, my heart is flooded with many emotions. Yesterday, we spent the morning with the boys, enjoying our time together. About an hour before we were to leave, we sat down with the boys and a sweet new friend (who was kind enough to translate for us) to explain that we would be back as soon as possible to take them home. They agreed that they understood as they sat solemnly in our laps.

After a little walk with the boys and a sweet time of prayer with our friends at the creche, it was time to leave for the airport. It was a heart wrenching, tearful goodbye, but after the experience we had with the boys, there is no way to doubt that God has a perfect plan.

The business of the airport was a distraction from my sadness. I began to focus on seeing Molly and Lincoln, who we missed so much. On the first flight I settled in and felt ok, until I leaned my head over on Joey's shoulder and took a deep breath. With that deep breath I could smell our sweet boys, and my heart was so sad. Sad they weren't in our laps, sad that we had to leave them behind, but hopeful that our time apart will be short, and thankful that they are in such a wonderful creche. I haven't talked much about the staff of C4C, but they are wonderful. I can't express our appreciation for the care that they provide our children. A and C know what it means to love and care for others and that is because it is modeled for them. They respect the "Ma-mas" and "Pa-Pas" in their lives.

We had a significant layover in Fort Lauderdale, which made Joey very antsy. We were both very ready to see Molly and Linc. We found out that our layover was extended by an hour which put us arriving in Jacksonville close to midnight. I'm thankful for wonderful parents who cared for our kids and brought them to pick us up at that crazy hour of the night! It was so wonderful to see them. We arrived home around 2:30 to a spotless house (thank you Mom and Becca!!) and a sweet surprise from some friends. We are so blessed by the people God has placed in our lives.

It is nice to be home. It will be nicer when we are ALL home and our forever family is united. Until that page of our story is written, we will have faith in our good Father. The God, who created the world and has provided the means of salvation through Jesus Christ's death and resurrection is the author of this story, and with that knowledge, we are provided with hope. It was not easy to walk away. I wanted to bring them home and tuck them in tonight. I want them to be playing soccer with Molly and Linc this week. I want our family united now, but I know that God's plan is perfect, and it is our job to use this time to prepare to be exactly what they will need when they join us as a forever family. This trip allowed us to bond with our precious boys, gain some insight into what life will be like soon, and make connections that will last a lifetime with people who are walking the same path. God is good and faithful. We are able to love because He first loved us.

A's bear and blanket (C's giraffe and blanket were in his bed) 

Happy family! 

And to think...there will be two more little boys! 

Our "Welcome Home" flowers that were waiting for us last night.

My mother picked them from her flower garden.

Day 13 and Day 14 in Haiti

Day 13 Thursday (4-14-16)

Today was the last day for us at the “old” C4C guesthouse. We packed up all of our things and moved them to the “new” guesthouse, which is directly across the road from the crèche. It is going to be much more convenient for families and C4C to have everyone so close. Today was a phone day; so, we had a chance to call home and hear some familiar voices. It was nice, and I am SO incredibly ready to see Molly and Lincoln. I have reached my limit of being away from them.

This morning A was with his teacher when we arrived so we played with C by himself for a little bit. After a little while, I heard someone yelling, “Mom!” I stepped around the corner and A was hanging at the top of the stair railing with a big smile on his face. I thought school was over, but as it turns out he was just skipping class! He got away with it for a few minutes until his Dad realized that he was the only one from his group out playing. He returned without a fuss…which is a good step. J After his class was over, we had a fun day of playing with the boys.

Through the help of some friends of mine at school (thank you T. Alonso and J. Cox!!) I was able to video chat with one of my classes today. It was great! I loved it. I really do miss going to school and teaching my kids. I gave them a tour, a slightly blurry one, of the area around the crèche. It was great. I was really sad that the school aged kids were not there so that they could speak to them, but it went well.  I hated that I couldn’t chat with all of my classes, but this class made a request before I left for the trip and I’m so glad it worked out.

I realize our time is quickly coming to an end and that is hard, but today, one of the other moms said, completely confidently, “They will be home in 6 months!” We had a little laugh because there is no way of knowing that, but she said it with true conviction. We both agreed that 6 months would be amazing, but we know God’s timing is greater than our own (we would definitely love for it to be less!).

Day 14 Friday (4-15-16)

Today was our last full day with the boys. I was quite emotional. More so than I thought it might be. We had a great morning with them. The community members came in to do activities with the kids and it was so fun.  They have come into the crèche several times since we have been here, but this morning was the best. They were singing and dancing with the kids in a circle and when they called a child’s name, that child would dance in the middle. It was super cute. A was the first name they called and he got out of his Dad’s arms and went right into the circle. I was so proud; I thought he would avoid the attention. C however was not as interested in this activity as he hung onto me for dear life. It was very encouraging to see the children participating in organized play.

At about noon, the kids took naps, and the adoptive families took a tour of the medical clinic (which does amazing work) and then drove down the Baptist Mission. When we came back up, we were able to spend some more time with the boys. It was such a sweet time. They were both in great moods and very playful. C and I watched trucks (machines) go by and Joey and A played a little football. I said goodbye first because I didn’t want the boys to see me upset. Joey said that A cried when he left which makes it hard on him. C might be a little too young to understand, but A gets that we are leaving soon and his sadness breaks our hearts. We are hoping that tomorrow goes smoothly and that God gives us the words that the boys need to hear, and that he gives us all peace that He is in control.

Day 11 and Day 12 in Haiti

Day 11 –Tuesday (4-12-16)

Today, we had a big surprise when we came down for breakfast. We were told our Social Worker interview would be happening today at 8:30!! While that was exciting, it also made me anxious. The reason I was so excited is that it was the last official meeting that has to take place on our socialization trip (not in the process), and we were told it would be on Friday (we fly home on Saturday). Well…if you are familiar with Haiti you understand that there are a number of things that can happen that can disrupt the schedule, and I was fearful that it wouldn’t happen. I am thankful that God calmed my fears by allowing it to happen today.

It was a little intense. We sat with a Social Worker from IBESR and a translator (who we were SO excited to me because he has been working on our case).  During the interview, our intentions were questioned, our plans for the children were questioned, and we were repeatedly reminded about the responsibility that comes with adoption. All seemed to go well. As most of you know, Joey and I don’t struggle talking, but that setting as a little intimidating for even us. I might add that both A and C sat perfectly still with us during the interview, until both fell asleep in our laps.

It was a relief to have the interview over and we had a great day with the boys. Today is the most one-on-one time I have had with A (who may or may not think that if he gives me a kiss he gets a cookie J) and C might be realizing that running around with Daddy is a lot more fun that sitting with Mom J.  A is still calling Joey Pa-pa (which is completely common), but C is calling him Daddy and it just melts my heart.

At the end of our time at the crèche today, we walked down the road a little ways to another orphanage. It is difficult to put into words the visual juxtaposition between the lives of those kids and the lives we live. My heart is so burdened by the way some children must live. This orphanage is not a crèche, so these children are not on a track to adoption, and they will continue to grow up where they are. We, strangers who don’t speak their language, entered their home, walked around and their response was to sing us a beautiful welcome song. As if their welcome song wasn’t enough to put a huge lump in my throat, they began singing American praise and worship songs that we would know. At that point, the sunglasses came down over my eyes, and the tears began to flow. I couldn’t help but look at these kids who are living in such extreme poverty and wonder what in their lives makes them able to sing like that, with such passion. The only answer is that they truly believe that their heavenly Father loves them and gives them hope for an eternal life that is beyond the poverty and distress of this world. As we walked back to the crèche where our boys are, my heart was so incredibly thankful for the care and love and provision that they are being given while we are away.

At dinner tonight, we were able to welcome two more adoptive families. The guest house has grown from 4 people when we arrived (Me, Joey, Alison, and Juvenal) to 14. It has been a great experience and we are excited to have had the chance to get to know them.

Day 12- Wednesday (4-13-16)

Today was super fun because we got to watch the two families that came last night meet their children for the first time. It is so beautiful to watch children connect and claim their parents to the rest of the children, they are so proud. We all had a fun day of playing and continuing to get to know our kids. It is amazing how much you can learn about someone in such a short time. We seem to understand their habits and responses and we can interpret what they mean even when the language piece is missing. I feel like we have been parenting A and C for much more than two weeks.  Joey and I talked, and it just seems like they have been a part of our lives forever. This doesn’t mean that we haven’t had some trials, because we have, but as parents we know there are good days and there are better days. We are just going to aim for the latter as often as possible. It is our goal to honor God in our parenting and to raise our four children to love and respect their heavenly Father. 

Day 9 and Day 10 in Haiti

Day 9- Sunday (4-10-16)

Today marks one week since we met the boys. The relationships we have been able to build in a week are unbelievable. The amount of trust that A places in Joey is beautiful to see. C is a happy-go-lucky boy who seems to be a little easier to connect with and likes his mama holding him, but Joey and A have something special.  

To start the morning, we arrived at the guesthouse to walk with the kids up to church. When we arrived only a few kids were dressed and ready, most of the other kids were still upstairs getting dressed. As I was putting away my backpack in the office, I hear people laughing. I step out of the office to see C running down the stairs stark naked to see his mama. He thought it was hilarious…needless to say, I quickly took him back to his room to get dressed.

After everyone was ready, we walked the rocky road to church where the congregation is passionate about worship and living for Christ. During the service, the pastor always asks the visitors if they have something to say or want to sing. Well…last Sunday this caught me off guard and I quickly said no (much to Joey’s disappointment), BUT this Sunday, with our fellow adoptive family and Alison, we sang the Doxology for the congregation (it makes me laugh to type that). Our fellow adoptive family has visited the church many times before and was much more comfortable with the order of service and Joey only needed a little encouragement. Next time, I’m going to suggest a livelier piece of music. J

After church, we had a chance to meet Nathan for the first time. He is the C4C rep that works with IBESR and USCIS to get our adoption complete. It was nice to be able to say thank you in person for all of the work he is doing for our family.

We had a great day with the boys. The weather is pleasant and we spent a lot of time outside. At one point in the afternoon, the older boys got some instruments going and in just a few minutes everyone was dancing (or laughing at Joey’s dancing). The nannies think Joey is hilarious because he dances and sings all the time.

Today was a turning point for A, as today was the first time that he got out of Joey’s arms to play for more than a minute or two. He had a great time playing soccer without being attached to Joey and he also joined in the band activity with the other kids. He loitered around the edge of the activity until I found an instrument for him to play, he was excited to participate. 

We turned on the phone again today to be able to talk to the kids. We are so thankful that they are well taken care of while we are away, but can’t wait to see them soon. We really can’t wait to be a family of 6 and not have our hearts torn between two worlds.

Day 10- Monday (4-11-16)

This morning was a little different from the rest. Normally, we eat breakfast around 8, but because our cook is also serving at another guesthouse, breakfast came a little earlier. Alison had to leave before breakfast to travel to the airport to pick up another adoptive family, and our fellow guests were not yet downstairs. So, for the early breakfast it was just me, Joey, and Jean Claude (the security guard at the guest house). This was a special breakfast because Joey and I had no one to help us interpret and Jean Claude speaks very limited English. The 3 of us ate together and shared what limited conversation we could and believe me…great effort was made by Jean Claude and Joey. ( I have to make a side note here…my precious husband who sings random songs loudly in public and dances like a girl and does other somewhat embarrassing things LOVES PEOPLE, and that makes those somewhat embarrassing things a little more acceptable).  Jean Claude just radiates kindness, his smile is contagious and he and Joey worked very hard to make meaningful conversation and learn from each other. The conversation ranged from translating basic words from Creole to English to JC teaching Joey a song in Creole. The most precious part of speaking with JC is that when conversation is low he consistently reverts to telling us about Jesus living inside of his heart. I can’t think of a better topic of conversation. It may have sounded awkward, but Joey worked so hard to understand and repeat and the more Joey tried the bigger JC’s smile got. I’m thankful for little opportunities God gives us to love His people.

After our sweet breakfast with Jean Claude, we traveled up to spend time with the boys. When we arrive at the crèche, the boys are usually still upstairs. Today, A was sitting at the top of the stairs with his legs crossed and his hands together as if he were praying. When he peeked his eyes open and saw us he got a big grin on his face and returned to his prayer position, which he maintained until he thought I was going to kiss him. As soon as I got close, he ran for his Dad.  Joey and A spent some time this morning putting together puzzles and practicing letters. It was sweet to watch him focus so hard on a task. C just liked dumping his puzzle out and letting me put it back together. Both boys did a little drawing and again; it was fun to watch A become so focused on a task. It was a great day with both boys. Toward the end of our time with the boys, C went up for his bath and was so tired that he was asleep before we could even say goodbye…he played hard today.

 Today, we were so blessed to witness the union of a very special boy from C4C with his parents. God’s hand in the adoption process is undeniable, and the more time I get to spend with other adoptive families the more I realize the provision of God in all of our lives. It is extraordinary. We sit and we describe how completely impossible our journeys would be without God sending people to help provide or God sustaining us in just the right way to keep us on the path in which He has placed us. The stories that we are getting to witness are a testament to Christ’s love for us, and I feel so blessed to be a small part of it.

None of us know what this looks like in the long run, but we all know that it is exactly where God wants us and despite undeniable challenges, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tomorrow, we are anticipating the arrival of two more adoptive families. Outside of putting our arms around Molly and Linc…Saturday is coming too soon. 

Day 7 and Day 8 in Haiti

Day 7- Friday (4-8-16)

While we have been in Haiti, I have been catching up on various readings in the morning before we leave for the crèche. One thing I have been doing is filling in some gaps of a bible study I just completed with the women at church. It is a great study, but I missed a couple of lessons. This morning’s reading reminded me of what it means to abide in Christ. This was a wonderful reminder of what it means to remain in Christ, to remain faithful and know that He is faithful through all things. I’m sure I will be rereading this passage during our wait to return for the boys.

This morning we were solo for breakfast. Alison, our point person, travelled down to Port-au-Prince to pick up another adoptive family who was coming to meet their son. It was fun and exciting to see this family united. We also enjoyed their company a lot because their son is the same age as C, so now he has a buddy to play with while we are hanging out.

“A” went to his class a little more willingly today. Because it was Friday the teacher said they would be doing a craft and playing games. After what seemed like an hour (the length of his class) A comes running out with a smile, looking for his Daddy. I never saw evidence of a craft, but I think he felt like he had served his time at school. J

After a good day of hugs and love, we decided to hike down to the guesthouse from the crèche. There seemed to be more activity around the crèche today because the school kids, who normally have to spend time with a tutor doing homework, had the afternoon off because it was Friday.

Juvenal was our guide on this adventure. He works at C4C’s medical clinic that is located directly across from the crèche and lives at the guesthouse where we are staying. The road to the crèche is winding, up the side of a mountain and the scenery is breathtaking, but I can’t get a good picture from the van, so Juvenal said he would lead us on a hike.  It was quite an adventure, proving exactly how out of shape I really am. We meandered down the mountain and even found some new paths that Juvenal had never taken. The pictures will never do justice to the natural beauty of this country. After about an hour, we arrived back at the guesthouse in time to shower and change before dinner.

The views we were blessed to see are a beautiful reminder of God’s greatness, His faithfulness, and His sovereignty. The Creator of the world is in control of our story…it only makes sense to abide in his unfailing love.

View from our hike 

Day 8- Saturday 4-9-16

This morning, as I read 2 Corinthians 4: 8-11, I could not help but think about the people of Haiti. Yesterday, during our hike we were exposed to the extreme beauty of God’s natural creation, but we must not deny the extreme poverty and struggle that exists among His people living here. This passage so beautifully describes what I observe among His people in Haiti.

We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not destroyed – always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.

His people here are resilient and nearly always find something to be happy about. We have been blessed by getting to spend time with them.

Today, we were excited to spend some quality quiet time with the boys and the other adoptive family who is here. K’s family brought him a toy guitar, and I quickly realized that we must add that to our list because A loved it. He was so cute while he danced and jammed out to the music. While he was a little distracted it gave C an opportunity to spend some time with Joey, so they took a walk and did some exploring.

While at the crèche, I had a short opportunity to hold and love one of the sweet boys who is sick. He has good days and bad days and today was a bad day. He is really too big to be held, but every child needs someone to hold them when they are sick. He doesn’t speak much English, but he understood my offer to hold him. I enjoyed him snuggling in my lap for a little while.

Today was also the first day since our trip that we have been able to break into the circle of the older girls. We didn’t have too much conversation, but they were a little more interested in talking. One of the sweet girls is the child we sponsor, her smile is beautiful and her heart is so kind. I was very happy to meet her and have enjoyed getting to talk with her some. She is very quiet, but she understands a lot of what we say.

Today has been a week since we arrived; we desperately miss Molly and Lincoln back home, but know that our time with the boys is so limited. 

Day 5 and Day 6 in Haiti

Day 5 Wednesday (4.6.16)

We enjoyed another great breakfast this morning. Seriously…the Haitian mango is the best fruit I have ever eaten. When we arrived at the crèche, the boys were dressed in some more cute clothes that their Meme sent them.  After a little while of hugs and playing, it was time for A to go to see his teacher. He was NOT happy to leave his daddy, but Joey talked to him (he and Joey are communicating very well; even if it isn’t the same language), and he reluctantly went to class. After A finished with school, we walked them across the street hoping to play a little soccer. Because of the rain the night before, the field was too muddy, so we just had a little hang out time by ourselves. It is difficult to get to know the boy’s personalities at the crèche because they are SO territorial and refuse to get out of our laps because of fear their spot will be taken. So, while we were across the street we saw A LOT more personality…and LOTS of energy. We are getting an opportunity to see what makes them happy and what they do when they are upset. As people who spend a lot of time with children, we have observed so many “typical” responses to various stimuli. They are, as we say in the south, “all boy!” They love hugs and kisses and the love wrestling with their daddy.

A’s attention and energy, however, can be completely funneled and focused if he discovers Joey’s cell phone. He loves playing Subway Surfers! He and C take turns playing, but C doesn’t really play…this boy is into music! He will hit the play button, then stick the phone to his ear and listen to the music until his character dies…he looks at the phone and smiles and then hits play again. He would do this forever, just to hear the music!

After we played for a little while, we took the boys back to the crèche to eat and the big kids were back from school. Joey and A have enjoyed getting to play soccer with the big boys. It is quite entertaining to watch them kick the ball between Joey’s legs!

C and I continue to look over the wall of the crèche when we are not watching the big kids play. He just loves the sounds of cars and motorcycles. His excitement for cars makes me so excited to introduce him to things in our world. My heart LONGS for them to be home soon.

(A little entertaining side note) So the older elementary aged boys have kind of taken to us, possibly because they found out we had cookies. J One of the little fellas came up and asked me in my ear if he could have a cookie, well…let’s face it…who is going to say no?! I put my finger over my lips like it was our secret, you know…nonverbal communication that everyone but an 8 year old boy gets, because in about 2 minutes there was a herd of little boys around my backpack. So…I allocated cookies.  One of them pointed to his brother who was not in the group, as if he wanted to give him a cookie, so I gave him one for his brother. In just a minute I see the brother chasing him around the building. When I finally caught up to them, I tried to ask what was wrong because both little boys had a cookie in hand. Then the brother who had been playing opened his Oreo to show me that the “concerned brother” who got him the cookie ate his cream. J Brothers will be brothers no matter what the environment! (I got the little boy a cookie with cream!)

A's idea of community time. 

                                                                  C playing some drums :-)

                                                                C playing with numbers

Day 6 Thursday (4-7-16)

So today was hard…it was first real emotional day I’ve had since we arrived. Until today, I have been soaking in the new that surrounds me: new sights, new sounds, new smells and new people. But today, the idea that in just another week we will say goodbye to our boys for an indefinite amount of time began to really sink in, and I couldn’t make it stop. I had a flood of emotions. One minute I would be choking back tears, and another I would be mad at the system that is keeping these boys from going home with us now. It is such a struggle to look at these kids, ours and others, who have families and can’t get to them because of bureaucracy. We have no definite timeline and with all of the recent referrals (which is a HUGE praise), I’m not sure there is going to be any way to predict a timeline.

 On a more positive note, C4C has some community members come in a couple of times a week to do some one on one time with the toddlers. During this time, C and I played with some of their developmental toys and enjoyed ourselves. Our oh-so active A held on tightly to his dad and wouldn’t even consider playing in such a crowd. After the community members left, it was time for A to go to class, which again, he only reluctantly went to after a talk from his dad. When he came from class, he had a big smile on his face and gave a paper he had colored to me. It was precious and I’m so happy to have it!

Because of expense, I haven’t had my phone service turned on in Haiti. But today, I needed to have a little distraction from my hyper-emotional state (which I had to bottle up because I didn’t want to traumatize anyone J). We called and talked to Meme and Aunt Becca, who had Molly, Linc, Lauren, and Caroline. The boys, especially C, were eager to talk on the phone. C also got to talk with Poppie, Uncle Brian, and MaeMae. Joey and A got distracted with playing.

The rest of the day went well; I tried to swallow my emotions and enjoy the entertainment of some wonderful children, who are so deserving of every bit of attention they get. It is overwhelming to not be able to give them all the attention of a mom and while I understand that is not my job, it is difficult.

Please take a moment to pray that our paperwork will move seamlessly through the next steps of this process. I know and trust God’s timing, pray that I can rest in the knowledge that He is in control and His ways are higher than mine. 

Day 3 and Day 4 in Haiti

Day 3 (Monday)

After a wonderful breakfast at the guesthouse we drove (we didn’t drive, we rode) over to the crèche to see the boys.  A is still glued to Joey and C is still stuck to me. It is really sweet. They have made it clear to the other kids that try to climb in our laps that we belong to them. We had some time to spend with the boys by themselves. Joey and A experimented with a few board games and C took the time to take a great map on his mom.  Joey brought down some baseball gloves and some tee balls, which the bigger boys are loving. Right now A is requiring Joey to hold him while they play, so together they make one player J While I wasn’t holding C, I spent a lot of time making sure that we had all of the documents necessary for our embassy appointment on Tuesday. This is the appointment where we sign the I-600 that is time sensitive. We are hoping for a good, smooth appointment.

Day 4 (Tuesday)

Today we left the guesthouse at 5:30 for our drive to the US Embassy. Our appointment was at 7am. The drive through Haiti is very eye opening and reveals such a variety of ways of life. I see something new every time. By the time we arrived at the embassy there were several lines forming outside of the building. I did not take pictures of the scene because I didn’t want to draw more attention to us or offend anyone, as were seemed to be the only non-national Haitians at the US Embassy and it is a high stress day for a lot of people.

We waited in line for about 40 minutes, by this time the line had extended a great length down the sidewalk. The embassy employees were very nice and were gracious with the language barrier. Noah, our C4C representative was with us which made the whole experience less stressful. After waiting outside, we were escorted through a security building, through a courtyard, and then into the large room in which we would have our appointments. There were 28 windows that were available for appointments. Someone over a loudspeaker would call a name and that persons would step up to the window, that was slightly more private than that of a bank teller, and discuss paperwork and answer questions. After about an hour and a half we were called to window 26 to ensure that we had all of our documents and that everything was properly filled out. We were instructed to sit again and wait for our “interview.” In about another hour we were called to window 28 to be questioned about our process and about our personal lives. All went well and both agents were very kind during our meetings. Needless to say, we were happy to have that step behind us.

After our appointment, we stopped by a grocery store because Joey told A he would bring him cookies (who doesn’t love birthday cake Oreos?) and Joey wanted to pick up the boys another soccer ball. We arrived back at the crèche during A’s school time. We didn’t realize that we were walking in on it, so we just joined in. It didn’t take C long to realize that we were downstairs and he quickly joined us. Both little guys dressed in there cute clothes and shoes that Meme sent them.

The day was filled with holding and snuggling. C’s favorite thing to do is for me to hold him at the fence of the crèche so that he can look over at the people and vehicles in the street. He likes to say, “bonjour” to those passing by.

For the first time since we have been with them A got down and played soccer with Joey instead of being in his arms, however, when the big boys showed up he rejoined his dad and they played as one player again. In one of the instances when A did get down to play with the bigger boys he had a little fall (which really wasn’t bad), but it upset him so it gave me a chance to scoop him up and give mama snuggles, which he lovingly accepted. But…other than letting me console him after his little scrap-up, he has been a daddy’s boy!!

So thankful for the good times we have had and are continuing to have with A and C! 

Day 1 and Day 2 in Haiti

Day 1
So our trip down was good, but interesting. To save time I will just say...the first flight was FULL of turbulence. The second flight was boarded...then unboarded...then delayed and reboarded. Needless to say, it was a long day in the airport. When we arrived in Port-au-Prince we were greeted by a C4C sign and taken to our GREAT driver (his navigation of Haitian traffic was very impressive) and a really sweet C4C intern, Alison. On our way to the guest house, we stopped to pick up some groceries (I saved my receipt for my students to practice exchange rates). Because of our delayed flight, we were unable to meet the boys on the first day, but we settled into the guest house and had a great dinner.

Day 2
We woke up at 5:30 to a beautiful morning, with sun shining brightly. After getting dressed for church, we drove over to the creche' to meet "A" and "C". To our surprise they were waiting for us as soon as the gate was opened. After a brief moment of examining us, "C" gave me a bear hug and "A" went straight into Joey's arms. This was pretty much the story for the rest of the day. We couldn't have imagined a greater reception. We were very impressed as they sat (in our laps) so well through church. We had a wonderful time playing with the boys and the other children at the creche' during the afternoon. When it was time for the boys to start settling down for the evening, we said our goodbyes for the day and went back to the guesthouse. I was definitely exhausted, but SO thankful to God for such a warm union.

                                                              "A" loving on his Pa-Pa.

                           "A" showing Joey how to use his baseball glove as a shin guard :-)

"C" driving his car up the stairs. 

                                                                Arms full of love.

We got our referral... So what happens next??

On Monday we received news that we have been waiting on for a long time! Since October 2014, we have been waiting get our referral for two precious boys in Haiti.  The most frequently asked question this week has been, "so what does that mean?"

Well...it means that we are currently sitting in the airport at Fort Lauderdale waiting to board a flight to Haiti to meet our boys. This is NOT the final step in our process but is a BIG step. We will spend 14 days with them during what is called a "socialization" visit. During this time we will sign our I-600 paperwork at the embassy and be interviewed by a Haitian social worker. I will save the steps that follow for a later blog because right now we are so excited to meet the boys we aren't thinking about anything else (but for those wondering it could still be 12 months before they come home).
I have tons of emotions right now! Sad to leave Molly and Linc for 14 days, but very excited about spending time with the boys (We'll call them A and C from now on). I'm anxious about how they will respond, but hopeful that God is preparing all of our hearts. We will not be able to post their names or pictures showing their faces until after they become Fitzgeralds...which will hopefully happen in the next few months.
Along with all of the emotions accompanying our visit with A and C we are extremely humbled by the support of our friends and family.  So many people have helped out to allow us to focus on our family for these 14 days without being stressed about leaving our responsibilities.
We are beyond grateful for the prayers and financial support from so many people who already love our boys.

Hoping for a Year full of Changes...

It's a new year and God has provided us with a renewed sense of hope during our period of waiting. In my last post we were hoping and praying for a special meeting in Haiti on Oct. 22. Well...it didn't happen on Oct 22, but it did happen the first week in December! Needless to say, we were very excited. Following this meeting, our file went to the children's judge in Haiti, which means we are currently waiting for the judge to sign the boy's paperwork and send it back to IBESR so that we can receive our official referral. We had some hope that that would happen in December, but unfortunately we are still waiting for that step to be completed. If we receive our referral under our   I-600a immigration approval, then we have to sign in Haiti by April 2016. However, at the end of November we filed for immigration approval with an I-800a just in case we don't get our referral in time to sign by April.

As I was reaching a point in which my patience was waning, I felt a burden in my heart that I committed in my first blog of last year to "prepare" for the boys to come home. While we did the paperwork and anything we could logistically to get the boys home, I feel like I did not do all that I could to prepare my heart to parent children who will have experienced so much loss. It is my hope that in the next few months(years) of waiting that we will be able to create a better understanding of who we need to be for the boys. In this process, we want to prepare Molly and Linc to love and connect to their new brothers.  In the last few months, God has placed some really special friends in our lives. After spending some time around this family, Joey commented that even though their 4 children have very different personalities that they know each one very well. It is obvious that they have tapped into understanding the strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes of each child. We have been encouraged to take this time before the boys come to create closer relationships with Molly and Lincoln so that they are confident, well-adjusted siblings.

I don't think that this period of waiting is purposeless, but that doesn't make it easy. However, I feel a new sense of hope in what God has planned for our family. It is my prayer that we see a lot of movement in 2016 and that we meet our boys soon!!! But until God opens that door for them to be an active part of our family, we will continue to prepare. It is my hope that the four of us grow more Christlike during our period of waiting.

 Maybe the next blog will be announcing our referral!

Prayer requests:

-Pray for Chances for Children as they care for our boys
-Pray that a judge and agents at IBESR work diligently to process the cases of children
-Pray that we will be preparing our hearts to meet our boys
-Pray that we could sell our home to move closer to our jobs (we feel like that will be more important when we are a family of 6)
-Pray that we will be greater parents to Molly and Lincoln as we prepare to add to our family


Trusting Him,
Amy