I should start with this... I have the most wonderful, self-sacrificing mother that anyone could imagine. I am truly thankful beyond words.
That being said... I must confess that I, however, am not a good celebrator. I just like to be. I like everyday, mundane life and celebrations disrupt the norm. I realize that sounds a little crazy, but special occasions/holidays really take me out of my comfort zone. There is the fear of forgetting someone or failing to find an adequate gift for an occasion, so I embrace the NORMAL day wholeheartedly. I expect nothing...no gifts or special treatment and in return I am not nearly as thoughtful as I should be to others (who are completely deserving of SO MUCH more than I could ever give).
As the day approaches I have had some of my usual thoughts that come around this day of year, such as There is nothing I could give my mother to show how much I love and appreciate her and My children are super cute and make some really great Mother's Day crafts at school.
BUT this year I have had a different mother on my mind and that is the birth mother of the boys*** we are hoping to adopt. I can't seem to get her off of my mind, which is odd since I don't know her or even if she actually exists. I have ZERO knowledge of the mother who gave birth to the children we hope become part of our family. But I do know that if she does exist it is VERY likely that she would love to be the one spending Mother's Day with them, but most likely circumstances beyond her control are preventing it. As I look at Molly and Lincoln and feel the immense pain at the THOUGHT of having to give them up for their own survival my heart breaks for her and a huge part of me wants to understand how to help our boys love, appreciate and celebrate their birth mom.
I want them to know that God directed their dad and I to them and that our opportunity to raise them to know and serve Christ is our greatest desire. I want them to know that their birth parents are a major part of who they are and that by living for Christ they can eternally honor the sacrifice made for them.
The thought of this responsibility is a little overwhelming, considering I'm not very good at special occasions.
I would love to think that the government in Haiti is going to institute an incredibly efficient process and get our boys home before next Mother's Day, but I understand the reality of the process and realize that it is unlikely. I am however, committing in my heart to help our children remember the very special lady who brought them into the world and I'm just not sure what this picture looks like but God does.
Please remember and pray for birth mothers who make such huge sacrifices for their children.
***We have not received an official referral so nothing is certain...BUT God is in control and HE knows the children that will become little Fitzgeralds.
Abandoned to Christ,
Amy
