A difficult week

The past week has been difficult to say the least.

If there is one thing that is true about me(Amy) it is that I tend to have a controlling personality. I assure you that God is working diligently to remove this trait from my life, and I must say that I can personally see improvement. However, when my children's personal safety is involved it is hard to suppress the desire to take control and protect them. As a school employee, I see this trait in many parents who rush to remove their children at the sign of any danger on campus...and I get it. I get wanting to be with your child in a time of uncertainty.

This week that was not a possibility for us. We could not rush down to Haiti and pick up A and C and take them to the safety of our home. We could not hold them as the winds blew, we could not assure them of safety as trees fell around them. As parents, we felt helpless...completely out of control.

I have struggled this week on several levels....some of my struggles, I must admit, are born out of the selfishness to have my children in my arms. Selfish or not...all of my struggles come from not being in control...and I have to daily abandon myself for His purpose.

This morning at church...the Sunday after such a week of emotional stress, the title of the pastor's sermon was "Raising Up Godly Children: Entrust Them."
Entrust Them...
- Entrust them to God's Call
- Entrust them to God's Protection
- Entrust them to God's Provision

Our children are safe and we are SO thankful, but they are not safe because WE held them close. They are not safe because I could assure them that all would be well. They are safe because God kept them safe. And I must entrust their precious little lives to Him, but not just until they are home with us. I must entrust their entire future to Him...to the creator and sustainer of life. Because the truth is that even after they are home and I feel like I have more control over what happens in their lives...I don't. We often think of the things we will be able to provide for them when they arrive: LOVE, hugs, kisses, family, school, medical care, etc., but none of this replaces what God provides for them in our complete absence. This understanding does not mean that I do not feel a sense of urgency to bring them into our home, but it does remind me that God our Father is with us despite our circumstance.

We must lead by example and guide them in the ways of Christ, but we are not in control.
It is the desire of our hearts that our four children grow up and serve God with their whole lives...with every breath they breathe. And we will Entrust Them to Him.


Abandoned in His Call,

Amy